Levante - Barcelona.

Messi is in the stands. oh i am angry now. why was he given special permission to stay on holiday! GAH!
dani alves has shaved his head.
Milito isn't playing even though he is fit.
Bojan is starting for the first time in the league for months.
and this game will be posted in 2 parts because i need to get up early tomorrow and shouldn't be watching his at all.

this first part is live.
5 minutes in: 0 - 0.

1.Bojan's size plays him down a bit as he's pushed around a little bit. For the first few minutes he still hasn't completely gotten control over the ball yet.
2. Villa takes the stranges pass which went about 15 metres up and only 2 metres across.
3. Iniesta takes a short and it is saved by the levante goal keeper.
4. Xavi takes a shot from distance and it is again saved.
5. now I am annoyed because the commentator is listing the absensces of Barcelona and didn't mention Leo Messi. GRAH.
6. Iniesta's cross to Bojan is overshot and is taken by the keeper.
7. David Villa's shot is wide after a great run.
8. Just wanted to point out that Levante's home kit is actually the same colours as the Barca home kit. how annoying. but obviously they're in their away kit at the moment.
9. what a horrible moment. on the counter attack levante forwards are tearing after the ball, but only to be beaten by abidal who passes it to goal keeper Valdes. Valdes passes it back but it was taken by Levante and they almost take a shot. Valdes redeems himself by making a save.
10. Pique, Puyol and Afellay are in the stands. Ibi is looking bored as fuck. I assume that until Afellay learns spanish or catalan he'll be pretty stuck to pique.
11. Commentator says that Lavente is on the tall side. no, Barcelona are on the short side.
12. Barca are asleep and Levante take advantage of the situation and are looking threatening. Abidal does well to clear. Levante are appealing for a penalty. None given. We literally have no central defense today anyway. With Pique on suspension, Puyol injured and Milito still not match fit.
13. Villa's free kick is sent over the crossbar.
14. Pique is on his blackberry in the stands. The commentator is wondering whether he's posting on twitter, saying that he is a pretty regular poster on social networking sites. I am now going to find out.
15. Bojan clashes with two Levante players in a
16. Iniesta is in the sidelines just having a bit of attention from the physios. Dear god i hope he isn't injured.
17. Shit, Bojan misses two chances when Iniesta's ball goes to him, onces when it rebounds off the keeper's save, and one off the defender. They do have a corner though.
18. After a series of fumbles iniesta's goes to ball to bojan and the shot is missed, dropping to Alves, who is literally about a quarter of a foot from the goal and shoots it WIDE. what a waste.
19. shit, everyone is failing. Valdes is forced to make a save because of the slack defense. We're missing the wall in defense that is Carles Puyol.
20. Alves is diving. he isn't even touched.
21. This is incredibly frustrating. at 32 minutes no one has scored.
22. In a replay it shows Bojan was fouled and completely ignored by the referee.
23. Again, missed chances again and again from Bojan and Pedro. In the replay it shows Bojan mouthing something that looked like "I AM SHORT" and looking very, very annoyed. Obviously it was in Catalan and i am a terrible lip reader and even if i wasn't I can't understand catalan.
24. Our attack is simply being completely SLACK. every pass and every cross is just completely off.

5 minutes left in this half.

25. Bojan's shot is deflected off Robuste, captain of Levante tonight, and he seems to have a concussion. He's up and okay now.
26. Why are Barca forcing all these corners? the ONLY tall player to take headers is pique and he's off. What needs to happen now is for Xavi and Mascherano to stop fucking around in the midfield and actually get some balls into the penalty area without Bojan and Villa fucking up.
27. I swear to God the commentator just said "best chance of the game, almost put pique off his penis" Oh, a replay shows he was referring to Pique dropping his peanut and picking it back up to eat it off the floor. nice. nice.
DAVID VILLA IS OFFSIDE.
28. some stuff is going on here. Bojan looks fouled or something. Not sure. Either he's booked for complaining to the ref, or the Levante player is booked for fouling him.

HALF TIME.
Commentator said Barcelona were suffering from a holiday hangover... HA.
Apparently it was Nano who got carded, not Bojan, before the half time.

PEDRO! SCORE! Alves was waiting... and waiting.... and waiting....and threaded the ball through 4 defenders, Pedro obviously thinking on his feet scored it. shit, i forgot i was writing in lists.

29. Thiago is on for Mascherano. cool. hope the Barca B player does well today.
30. Shit, Bojan went down and got kicked in the chest. He seems fine though, no foul given either.
31. Thiago instantly with a shot from distance. It's of course saved by the brilliant keeper Reina from Levante.
32. Pedro got whacked in the gut. Looks painful. Free kick is given. Xavi better not fuck this up. Shot taken and saved.
33. Close save by Victor Valdes. thank god they didn't equalise.
34. PEDRO GOAL! superb. That was from outside the box as well. Dani alves assist. Impressive to the maximum. I must say he's one of the most underated players in La Liga.
35. Levante are a loud side. Their shouts can be picked up beyond the crowd and commentator.
36. Bojan goes down. No foul.
37. AHH BOJAN IS OFF! no goal for krkic... what a shame. Keita is on for him. it was not a good game for Bojan today. Sorry.
38. Thiago with great control and speed there. It's a shame Pedro's shot hits the bar.
39. Milito is warming up! yes! the commentator lied to me, saying he wasn't match fit.
okay. first part out. sign off time 67.47.
first part will be posted first, and then later edited to finish the game off.

EDIT: sorry, i realise that i was meant to get back to this. but either way everyone knows it ended 2 - 1, Levante having scored in the last 5 minutes or so. I would say this victory is a bit of a stretch, too close for comefort, as well as Barca's cup quater final 0 - 0, 1 - 1, just barely pushing through with away goals. not sure what's going on lately...

Barca - Espanyol - derby

1. Kick off! 14 seconds in and espanyol is already closing in the goal area, valdes is forced to make a save!

2. I think it's safe to say that I was quite worried about this game this week, because firstly, this is a derby, it does tend to get violent, and secondly, espanyol is in very good form.

3. AH CRAP! in a barca corner, busquets almost scores with a back flip-y thing. don't know what it's called. will look it up later. the ball was inches away from the net.

4. I just realised that im watching this with chinese commentry. ah.. much better.

5. Shit, Espanyol's cross in was offside, it was too close for comfort.

6. Messi's shot is over the bar. Alves should probably have scored it himself. Sometimes Barca players need to stop being so nice and selfless.

7. Busquests is cheating like there's no tomorrow. Typical. Maybe in addition to counting David Villa's offsides every week I'll also count Busquest's dives and fouls. Actually then i'd probably lose track by half time.

8. GOAL! PEDRO! Referee missed an espanyol injury. I hope he doesn't take the goal away. He's been down from Puyol's challenge, which looks like no foul. The referee is probably in trouble for this though, he should've stopped play.

9. Valdes is making saves miles away from the box. slightly worried about the giant gaping hole which is the goal left empty.

10. Busquets gets carded. What did i say earlier about him cheating... But in his defence some of the espanyol players need to man up a bit.

David Villa offside No. 1.

11. Messi is fouled. Leo Messi get a haircut, please.

12. fucking hell, this ref is a bit shit. Villa's shot very obviously deflected off an espanyol player. No corner is given. I say obviously because h

13. What now? XAVI (who has had a haircut) GOAL! Espanyol is firing up again. The goal is given nonetheless. 2 - 0.

14. The commentator just said "you can't take your eyes off this game at the moment" - He's actually right, I've been itching to get a drink since 10 minutes in.

15. Espanyol shot on target! wicked save from Valdes. Valdes pats him on the head. I love La Liga. Let's see the corner. It's not good.

16. Some weird shit going on here. A metre away from the goal Barca's defence seems to have managed to save a goal without the use of their goal keeper, but made a messy job of it. I don't see why they didn't just give it to Valdes though.

17. I'd like to see Barca come away tonight with a clean sheet. Because that add Espanyol on the list of sides which they have not conceded against. Messi's magic seems a bit run down today...

-------------- HALF TIME ---------------

18. Alves it putting up a fight with every decision of the ref. typical dani alves. I am now having a sinking feeling that Leo Messi won't score tonight.

19. Oh fucking hell. Seriously, needed to be a bit more selfish. Pedro should have scored instead of passing to Messi, instead it gets intercepted. When the season finishes and it comes down to goal difference Pedro will be looking at this again.

20. Pique picks up a yellow card. For once he walks away without putting up too much of a fight. Free kick intercepted by Leo Messi. Messi can defend, apparently.

21. Oh... Valdes Saves! Luis Garcia's shot is on target from a freekick from a foul from Pedro.

22. I really hope Messi scores or something dramatic happens before my cold medicine sets in and i get too dopey to care. But Espanyol is a good side and maybe i'm asking too much of him.

23. PEDRO SCORE! to give credit to Leo Messi's Jedi run. That goal should've been Messi's. The reason why i look at his goals as great importance is because i secretly favor him over pedro. and secondly because i really don't want cristiano ronaldo to win the pichichi.

24. OSVALDO SCORES! oh right, there's no clean sheet for Barca then. well, that's the first conceded goal in a very long time for Valdes. it's still 3 - 1 though, see if any more goals come in.

25 Shit, Leo Messi is down. What happend here? Ah, well, he's back on his feet now. All is cool. But what's this? Busquets is down... Referee gives a drop ball because Osvaldo was taken down earlier.

26. The fans are really taking against a stand against Dani Alves. Whenever he has the ball they just boo him. I am feeling sorry for him. It's not his fualt the referee didn't call a stop before the first goal.

27. Barcelona is forced to go into defensive play now. Espanyol looking a stronger side for the last 20 minutes.... worrying.

28. SHIT, pique's shot goes way way way way off. He really should've scored it. He's annoyed. I'm annoyed.

29. DAVID VILLA GOAL! Leo Messi's great assist and david villa finishes beautifully. 4 - 1.

30. Mascherano is on for Busquets. I reckon Guardiola should've done that some 20 minutes ago.

David Villa Offside No. 2.

31. DAVID VILLA BRACE! Here it comes again, typical Villa goal, it looks so easy but it's actually down to his rediculously well timed shots.

32. I'm somewhat worried that Leo Messi is falling into a playmaker role and will score less individual efforts. Bojan is on for Villa, again, Guardiola should've done it earlier.

FULL TIME. 5 - 1. good derby, good game. a bit annoyed about the conceded goal, and that Leo Messi didn't score, but all in all it was worth getting up at 2.30, freaking out and thinking it was 5 because my clock was set to another timezone, and thinking that i'd missed the game.

and yes, i realise that i'd missed out the Barca - Real Sociedad game, maybe one day i'll catch up on that one.