Napoli Barcelona - Joan Gamper Trophy

The traditional Joan Gamper pre season trophy is about to start with Barca: Pinto - Montoya Pique Fontas Adriano - Cesc Keita Thiago - KikoFemenia Villa Iniesta. Looks like it's Fabregas' first start with Barca and Montoya's first game with the first team since he underwent shoulder surgery at the end of last season. Good to see Fontas finally getting some game time.
I've actually pre-recorded this game, so apologies for the lack of enthusiasm.
and we have for Napoli: De Sanctis - Campagnaro Cannavaro Britos - Maggio Dzemaili Inler Dossena - Lavezzi Hamsik - Cavani

Ah, finally, here's iniesta with the armband getting the match underway. Good god after 20 minutes the ref finally blows for time on.
2' After two minutes of domination with Barca, Napoli finally get some touches on the ball.
3' Thiago was about to take a shot and the commentator is still talking about Joan Gamper changing his name.
3' Fabregas down in the area and no foul or anything given.
4' I ONLY WISH THE FUCKING COMMENTATOR WOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS FUCKING HISTORY. MOTOYA AND FABREGAS BOTH WENT DOWN AND SOMEONE SET UP PLAY BUT I CAN'T SEE WHO IT IS AND HE WON'T NARRATE WHAT IS GOING ON.
6' Campagnaro fires one into the area but Maggio completely ran out of space.
7' Iniesta is down from falling awkwardly and landed in a crash... he's back up but it looked painful.
8' Montoya gives the ball to cesc fabregas and it's a good shot but De Sanctis comes out for an easy save
9' Goal for Napoli! Oh wait ruled out. Pique is on the ground. It was 1. offside, and 2. as Cavani took the shot Pique was kicked in the face
11' Cavani with a shot on target with a header, Pinto with a save.
12' Villa trying to fire it into the area but it's blocked off by the napoli defense.
13' Iniesta literally running in circles because no one can take the ball off him, so they're all just standing in his way trying to obstruct him.
14' Cesc Fabregas giving the ball to Villa into the area but it's too long and Villa just manages from making it a goal kick by forcing it out of the touch line.
15' a string of shit passes forces the ball all the way back to the barcelona defense. It's good that they're actually having some defensive formation now. With madrid it was just all over the place.
17' Villa with an excellant chance but he's forced to send it away from the area as he is run out of space.
18' aaarrghhh Iniesta, Villa and Fabregas make an excellant run into the area, Fabregas is one on one with the keeper and he's completely off target! what!
20' Iniesta and Thiago put their efforts together to take a shot but it's sent away by the Napoli defense.
20' ball given away in the area again.
21' The flag is up for offside against David Villa. Partially Fabregas' doing with the late pass.
22' Inlter trying his luck from distance but it's nowhere near the goal.
22' Cannavaro looks like he's in a bit of pain as Kiko stepped on him earlier.
25' WOW. Adriano running into the area beating 3 defenders on the way, sends it across goal to an unmarked fabregas, who tips it into the goal. first goal for Fabregas at Barcelona! he's not fixing his chest strap as the camera is still zoomed into him.
27' Fumbling in the Barcelona end and Napoli corner. Britos heads it to the goal but Pinto finds a firm grip on the ball.
28' Lavezzi sprinting down the flank with Fontas on his tail, Pique drifted off to mark others in case he makes a cross, he goes for the shot himself and Pinto is forced to block it out.
30' Iniesta putting it into the area, soaring above everyone in front it goes to straight to Keita with a magnificiant header and it's a goal! the goalkeeper couldn't get to it in time.
31' Napoli now in the counter attack, Fontas clashes with Pinto as they both rush out to clear the ball.
32' A bit of a mess in the defense as Napoli get it near the area and no one is doing anything to clear it. Pinto picks it up before any shots were taken.
33' Pique lauches the ball all the way up the field to Villa who is massively offside.
34' Thiago fouled as he's tripped over but the ref has blown for thiago's handball. it wasn't a handball, we can see it in the replay now. what a stupid decision.
35' Kiko tripped up and Lavezzi kicking the ball away in frustration. He's booked for it.
37' Iniesta with a brillant pass to Adriano, who sends it to David Villa who has an easy chance now, just needs to tap it into the goal. but the keeper slides out and makes the save. shame.
38' oh what, Keita does a little flick with his heel sending it up and towards exactly where Iniesta is standing. impressive skill.
39' Britos is down now.
41' Britos off for treatment, subbed out for aronica.
42' Iniesta trying to clip it over the goal but the keeper dives out for a save.
43' long ass spell of posession only broken by once loose passes once or twice in a couple of minutes, but Barca keeps winning it back.
45' Fabregas pushes the ball forward for David Villa in front of goal, he flicks it towards the goal but it's cleared out just in time by the Napoli defense on the line.

Half time.
Stats! 71% posession for Barca, 5 shots on target, where Napoli only have 1. only one booking for Napoli so far.
Puyol and Afellay are in the stands. Afellay looking on awkwardly as Puyol signs something for an executive.
Dos Santos for Kiko, Bartra on for Pique, Pedro on for Villa, Cuenca on for Montoya, Sergi Roberto on for Iniesta. many, many changes for Barca. Keita has the armband now.

46' Cuenca fires the ball across goal but it's cleared by Napoli.
47' Fantasic strike from Pedro from outside the box but it's gone for the woodwork.
48' My god. Cuenca strikes from distance hits the woodwork again, Pedro catches the rebound and yet another strike on the posts! Guardiola literally has this face on :O 3 shots and hitting the woodwork 3 times in 2 minutes!
50' Cuenca falling rather slowly after a tackle on him. Played advantage. Messi is warming up.
50' Bartra preventing any danger for Napoli as he clears the ball out.
52' Adriano just not paying attention and letting the ball hit his foot and roll out of play.
53' Pedro flalling about as he's held back by the arm several times.
56' Adriano just handed Maggio in the face. free kick near the area.
56' Fabregas off for lionel messi!
57' Cavani's goal is ruled out for offside. AGAIN. it was very obvious and there were two people offside at the time.
58' Xavi on for Adriano, Donadel and Zuniga on for Napoli.
60' Messi making a break, offloading to Cuenca.
60' Cavani and Messi go down but no foul given on either.
60' Lavezzi this time given the foul against Messi. Free kick for Barca.
61' Messi takes the free kick, fires it toward to goal, it's hit the woodwork again! pedro catches the rebound off the keeper and heads it into the goal!
62' Fontas off for Mascherano, Adriano for Abidal, Keita for Busquets.
63' Pinto is the only one on pitch who started this game now.
64' Messi out runs a batch of defenders, passes to the left and kept in by Abidal.
65' GOAL NUMBER 4! Messi to Xavi to Pedro, crossing back to Messi, smacking the ball into the net again. Goal keeper tried to block Pedro's cross so Messi had no trouble avoiding him.
67' Roberto outmuscled and taken down but no foul is given to Barca.
68' Hamsik is off for Santana.
73' Excellant defending from Xavi, coming back to clear the ball cleanly and very nicely.
74' Barca looking for a way it but it's booted all the way up field again by solid napoli defense.
76' in the past minute alone i reckon Xavi has made 10 completed passes. literally.
76' Lionel Messi makes Goal number 5! Abidal gives him the ball, he makes the run and scores the goal. quick, efficiant goal scoring. excellant.
78' Almost through with another attack but Napoli pull back just in time to defend.
79' Dos Santos giving a free kick away with a foul near barca's corner.
80' a foul and a push on Roberto, a free kick for Barca.
81' Xavi fires the ball up the pitch for Messi but the keeper has come out of the area to head it to safety.
81' Late challenge on Cuenca by Victor Ruiz. the ref has chosen to keep the card in his pocket.
84' Xavi plays it through to Sergi Roberto and De Sanctis has come far out of the area to block a shot from him.
85' through ball form xavi, pedro running into space, had a space of a second to be one on one with the keeper and to score it, but it's far wide.
86' Pedro slips and fails to bring the ball in for a cross.
87' Cuenca down again, free kick given to Barca, Barca on the attack, taken really quickly, but messi is flagged offside.
90' Napoli looks to be taking a defensive approach with about 8 players in defense, a little too late i suppose.

Full time! good game, very relaxed and finally showing signs of what barca was like last year, i think the team's settled down a bit more since the earlier pre season games. some lovely plays out there today, but a little unlucky to have hit the woodwork so many times and so many off target shots that could well have been goals. At the same time it's a bad score for Napoli but i'm sure all the fans of barcelona are grateful that they took part in the joan gamper trophy this year, unlucky that both goals were ruled offside, they really were not as bad as the score seems to show.

2nd leg supercup final, el clasico!

dear god they're walking onto the pitch. i'm fucking scared shitless.
Cant del Barca is playing. player handshakes.
Barcelona line-up: Valdes - Alves Mascherano Pique Abidal - Xavi Busquets Iniesta - Pedro Messi Villa
Real Madrid line-up: Casillas - Ramos Pepe Carvalho Coentrao - Xabi Alonso Khedira - Di Maria Ozil Cristiano - Benzema
i am fucking terrified, in a rather uncomfortable position but i can't more other than doing all this typing and ocassionally reaching to have some green able.

o' KICK OFF. so the panic begins! Ozil coming into the area, Abidal interception, Crisitano with a shot on target, saved and rebounded out for a corner already.
1' David Villa handball, free kick Real madrid going onto the attack, Offside for Coentrao.
2' the crowd is whistling and screaming non-stop. good atomosphere.
3' David Villa and Pepe both go down, free kick given to madrid.
3' Busquets taken down late, referee waves play one.
4' Barcelona hold posession for a bit of time, looking more like the Barca we're used to seeing now, but the ball is blocked out of the area and into attack for madrid.
5' David Villa tripped up completely but referee still waving for play on.
6' Villa sliding in to keep posession for Barca but Busquets eventually gives it away.
7' Villa coming in for a lot of good tackling and contact to give Barcelona a throw in, as ramos kicks it out of play.
8' Mascherano kicking it up the field for Pedro but it's too long for him and out of play it went.
8' Benzema sprinting down the flank with the ball but eventually ran out of space.
9' Madrid attack pushing all the way into the 18 yard box, Valdes comes out attempting to block but makes a mess of it and has to kick it out of play to take it out of danger.
10' Abidal coming back just in time to make a vital interception.
10' Abidal running ahead of Ozil to prevent him from scoring a goal.
11' Madrid on the attack again, blocked out by solid defense from Barca for once.
11' Ronaldo running down the flank but his cross is blocked by Javier Mascherano who sends it back to Victor Valdes.
12' Pedro through to defense, passing to Messi who might be offside but the flag stays down, he slides in at the end of Pedro's cross but Casillas comes out in time to make a save
13' Messi looking for iniesta in the 18 yard box but is blocked out by Madrid before it gets to him.
14' WOW. LIONEL MESSI COMING THROUGH, SENDING THE BALL TO INIESTA, WHO BEATS CASILLAS ONE ON ONE AND FINISHES IT TO MAKE A BEAUTIFUL GOAL. Iniesta just keeping very calm after the ball was sent to him, brilliant timing and accuracy, brilliant run from Messi. Stunning goal.


16' Mascherano goes down and a free kick is given to Barcelona.
18' Villa coming into the area with Messi and Villa is offside, who kicks the ball out and the referee has a word with him. Ramos pushes him in the chest and asking for the ref to book Villa.
19' Huge mess from Barca, Pique gives the ball away in front of the 18 yard box, Valdes has left his goal area, Pique comes back to clear it.
20' 1 - 1 MADRID! the corner comes in and it LOOKS like ronaldo has scored it , but it might've been Sergio Ramos that pushed it in, the commentator doesn't know either.

21' Pedro through the defense, gets blocked, wins the ball back, goes for goal from afar, Casillas with an impressive save.
21' Coentrao is down. The corner comes in from Xavi for Barcelona and straight into the Madrid defense.
23' Benzema is ahead of Barca defense and Victor Valdes comes out to punt it up the field.
24' Pedro onside and running towards the box, looking for iniesta but intercepted by Coentrao.
25' Alonso looking for Benzema who takes the shot and it goes wide.
25' Powerful shot from Ronaldo and good save from Valdes, Mascherano clearing it out for a Madrid throw in.
27' Khedira booked for a challenge on Messi, which by accident took Busquets down.
28' Pedro running through to take Casillas alone, but Casillas comes out and scopps the ball away from him.
28' Ronaldo diving, play on from the ref, Ozil goes for goal, Valdes gets a touch on the ball, which is just enough to tip it away from the goal.
29' Bezema takes a shot but it goes wide.
30' I know this isn't the Barca way of doing things, but all we need to do is keep Madrid from scoring, with a 2 - 2 away draw and a 1 - 1 home draw, we can still win this.
31' Iniesta takes Di Maria down in a late challenge, no booking though.
32' Coentrao taking Pedro down, referee was about to book him but decided not to.
33' Clean tackle from just outside the box from Alves on Cristiano Ronaldo.
34' Messi putting it through for Xavi but iker gets there before him.
35' Ronaldo throwing a bit of a hissy fit at the ref for giving a rightful throw in to Barca.
36' Messi going for goal, he's got two defenders on hm but he's out running both Ramos and Pepe, but Casillas' foot deflects it out.
37' Barca failing to get a shot in from two corners ina row.
38' Iniesta gets ripped from the ball by Pepe's tackle after being set up by Pique, but as pepe leaves he gets swung in the face by Pepe, the referee is not interested. Good continuous play from before though.
39' Iniesta rugby tackled by Khedira. I think he was trying to shield himself from falling with Iniesta's body.
41' Xavi is booked. for, i guess a late challenge. Coentrao seems to be making quite a big deal out of this though.
42' Playback is revealing that Madrid's goal was offside, but there's still a bit of room for doubt there since the angle doesn't show if Ramos got the touch after Ronaldo went offside.
43' Pedro trying to pull the ball back to Iniesta at the edge of the box, Ramos is there to clear it out.
44' LIONEL FUCKING MESSI. HOLY SHIT. the corner swung in from xavi, Messi recieves, offloads to Pique, back heel flick back to Messi, who just sends it to the back of the net. Brilliant.

46' Barcelona going into half time with a lead of 2 - 1 at half time (so the same as the first leg), and 4 - 3 on aggregate.

Here's something interesting:
Barca have never lost a game in which Iniesta scored.
Madrid have never lost a game in which Ronaldo scored.
So.... that's about to change...

Or maybe they'll go to extra time.... fuck.
68% Posession for Barca, good sign, in the first leg it was less than 50%, the first time ever in this Guardiola era of the team.
Marcelo is on, shit, here comes trouble. I think Khedira came off.

45' Benzema caught by Pique, free kick for Madrid.
46' Corner for Madrid, Ramos gets a head on it but can't control, out for a Barca throw in.
46' Out of control badly aimed tackling from Barca on Di Maria, free kick for Madrid. Alonso kicks it straight out for a goal kick.
47' Guardiola is freaking out on the sidelines as usual.
48' Marcelo going for the ball on the edge of the 18 yard box, but Valdes comes all the way out to clear it.
49' Abidal intercepting and flicking the ball over someone and catching it infront after. impressive.
50' Madrid almost getting in on a shot but Mascherano comes in to intercept and Valdes boots it up for Villa up the field but he's offside.
52' Villa gets the ball from Messi, Pepe gets to it, Villa coming back for the ball, Pepe dives and gets a free kick. Anger!
52' Free kick from Madrid sets Ronaldo up for a run and shot, but it's an easy save for Valdes.
53' Marcelo catches Messi in the stomach, he goes down, a bit of an angry group forms from both teams, Mascherano is booked, Cristiano Ronaldo is booked, Messi is talking to Marcelo. Alves comes to break them away from each other.
55' Mourinho talking to the linesman...
56' Two balls on the pitch, Messi kicks the extra into the field and Ozil angrily kicks out the original.
56' Marcelo gets the ball in through the gap of the defense but it's intercepted by Mascherano and sent off easily to Victor Valdes.
57' Ramos coming into attack Abidal is marking him, ramos takes a shot but it's wide and over the bar.
58' Higuain and Fabregas are both warming up.
58' Bad challenge from Pedro on Ramos.
59' Ramos going down again, this time in front of Messi, but it doesn't seem like a lot of contact, Messi could've been booked for kicking the ball away though.
60' Villa getting the ball up field but Marcelo is there to take the ball off him.
61' Free kick for Barca as Iniesta is caught.
61' Pepe is booked as Messi goes down, it looks like he elbowed or hit him in the face with a forearm. Free kick for Barca of course.
62' Messi takes the free kick, swings it in for Villa who's dashing in beyond the defense, and heading it over the bar, but it was close.
63' Di Maria is off for Higuain. don't know if that's good or not.
65' Benzema trying to get a shot in but in the process whacks Alves onto the ground trying to get him away from marking him, Free kick for Barca.
65' Taken quickly by Pique, Iniesta makes it all the way through the pitch, passes to messi before going down. Messi goes for a shot but it's saved by Casillas.
67' Pique is down as the corner is taken since Pepe has flung his arm into Pique's face, Busquets was alone on the 6 yard box and can't score from Xavi's corner.
68' Pique making a vital interception to prevent a shot from Madrid and it goes out for a corner.
68' Corner taken, it drops to Benzema who takes a wide and high shot.
69' Pedro is now down, he might need come off. he's up on his feet.
70' Ball out for a corner for Madrid, Ramos is unmarked and heads the ball JUST wide. terrible marking from Barcelona.
71' Free kick for Barca as there's an obstruction on Messi, Xavi's taken it before the whistle and the ref is maing him take it again.
72' Abidal is down after tripping over Ronaldo's knee, it wasn't intentional though.
72' Adriano is coming on for David Villa? Lets see.... he might just play up front. He can do so...
73' Messing up a bit with victor Valdes, who took his time with the ball and drew madrid's attack closer, but Madrid drew so close that it was almost a danger to Barca, Mascherano has to run back to clear it.
74' Pedro rolling off Pepe's shoulder, free kick given.
75' alonso down and tumbling, free kick for Madrid.
75' Marcelo swings it in for Ronaldo's header but he's jumped a second early and misses the header.
76' Ramos getting booked for a foul challenge on Adriano, running straight across him with a leg up.
77' Coentrao threading the ball through for Higuain but he's offside.
77' Adriano caught again, but no cards are drawn this time.
77' Ozil is off for Kaka.... i didn't think that was needed... but i've learnt not to doubt managers.
78' Free kick for madrid thumped forward by ramos to get rid of the threat of Messi who was in front of him, Cristiano is running down the flank, cut out by Pedro out for a throw in, Pedro is down holding his crotch.
80' Kaka speeding towards the area, Alves and Mascherano after him, out for a corner.
81' 2 - 2 ! BENZEMA finishes a terrible fumlbing in the area and equalises. WHY is fabregas on NOW?

82' Cavalho seems to have injured himself as Adriano was taking a shot towards the goal. Vital challenge, but he seems to have twisted his ankle in doing so.
83' Iniesta trying to flick it in for Messi but Pique was blocking him.
83' Benzema near the box again, Mascherano heading it out for a throw in.
84' Keita on for Busquets. I can see that Pep is trying to get fresh legs in for the extra time now with 6 minutes to go.
85' Everyone's getting tired and this is getting to be really disjointed and slow.
86' Cavalho takes Alves down, the ball goes out for a corner anyway.
87' MESSI GOAL! WHAT! FABREGAS WITH A PASS TO ADRIANO, TIPPING IT TO MESSI, OH WHAT AN ASSIST FROM ADRIANO AND WHAT A DEBUT FOR FABREGAS! Messi just leaping out to sending the ball flying at top speed into the goal. even iker casillas wasn't quick enough.


RIGHT WE NEED TO DEFEND NOW.
88' Pep jumping up and hugging his fellow coaches.
89' Adriano is down, again, fallen on his back leg as Marcelo obstructed his jump.
89' Messi up the field with the ball, Adriano kicks it out for a throw in.
90' Fabregas making an interception winning the ball back from Alonso, sending it through to messi, one on one with casillas now, oh saved by iker casillas!
91' Iniesta putting through to fabregas, but it's beyond him and Casillas catches onto it.
92' Valdes now taking his time with the ball.
92' Coentrao sending a ball across the 18 yard box, Valdes rushing out with an impressive jump and save.
93' Marcelo and Alonso both went for Fabregas with late and strong challenges.

93'Marcelo gets booked, it's a RED! EVERYONE IS SCREAMING AND YELLING AT EACH OTHER. EVEN THE BENCH FROM BOTH SIDES. Mascherano is trying to keep Higuain calm. EVERYONE IS YELLING. OZIL who is off, is FURIOUS, Mesut Ozil, the quiet german one, is yelling, red in the face, held back by technical staff, Xavi and Iker Casillas are yelling at each other. VILLA IS NOW RED CARDED

Edit: it seems Villa has slapped Ozil.

96' Play starts, Madrid are straight into attack, but it's Mascherano coming out witha great challenge and takes the ball from them.
98' Nothing matters anymore, it's over, and Barcelona are THE SUPERCUP CHAMPIONS. 3 - 2 second leg, 5 - 4 on aggregate!

Madrid players are walking straight off the pitch, Barcelona and Madrid not shaking hands, i don't think Pep and Mourinho did either, Florentino Perez is looking really angry, camp nou is packed with happy fans, singing and chanting away. Puyol is probably waiting for Iker in the tunnel to speak to him.
What. a. game.

Derby - Espanyol Barcelona

We're playing pretty normally today, in terms of line-ups. Just with Fontas on the left back replacing our many injured normal left backs.
moment of silence for seve ballesteros, we all know he was a great barca fan.

0' Kick off!
0' Jesus, there goes a free kick for Espanyol already. I don't think... there was any contact. There was a delay for the whistle too. Callejon is taking it. it's like 20 yards out. It's over the bar.
2' Callejon pushes Dani Alves and he's down clutching his throat. Whiplash hand from Callejon
3' Iniesta knocked off the ball and his feet. Free kick given to Barca.
4' Ball goes forward to Pedro, it's onside but there's too much on it and it's out for a goal kick.
5' Busquets is down. just a push. Free kick again.
5' Messi's first touch on the ball, he runs through 3 defenders, being tripped over by one, stays on his feet, but his pass is weak and he gives it away.
7' Messi nearing the area, to iniesta, to pedro, to alves, cross back in, villa heads it, then it's cleared by the defence.
10' Having posession for about a minute until inesta gives it away. doesn't happen very often.
11' Again, typical with the barca style, tons of posession so far but defense keeps suffocating chances.
11' Messi recieves the pass from pique, he makes the run but it's cleared out for a corner.
11' Xavi taking the corner, Pique almost gets the touch but he's offside.
12' Alves making a run some 50 yards but he's slipped and given it away.
12' Ball comes back to Alves, through to Messi but he can't get the ball to Pedro through the defense.
13' Pique trying to put the ball to Pedro but it's too long.
14' Oh god what a mess. Mascherano taken down by Callejon but Mascherano trips him up from the ground.
15' Messi taken down by Javi Marquez.
17' Espanyol trying to trip Messi up but failing.
17' Villa takes a shot just outside the area but it's weak and a easy save for the keeper.
18' Osvaldo making a run but cut out by Dani Alves
18' Alves taking a shot but it's another easy save for Kameni
19' Pedro cutting through the defense and takes a shot at the goal. It's saved but it wasn't a bad attempt.
20' Villa passing into the area, he can only pass to Pedro because Messi is offside. Pedro's shot is saved again.
20' Iniesta comes into the area, takes a shot and it's yet another save.
21' One Two between Messi and Alves but Amat steals the ball off them.
22' Osvaldo with the ball but stopped by Mascherano.
23' Alves catching a volley to and puts it through for Pedro but it's out for a goalkick.
23' Passes between Callejon and Osvaldo take it through the most of Barca defense, but it's cleared out by Dani Alves.
24' Busquets tripped up and goes down. not sure if it was nessicery.
25' Messi lurking around the area but the ball doesn't get to him through sturdy defense.
26' Pique drilling from goal to half way line. puts through the midfield. Iniesta now with the ball, he's taken down though.
27' Messi takes it all the way through defense but it's put wide... somewhere between a shot and a cross. but no one is there for the tap in.
28' INESTA! GOAL! He takes it into the defense, controls it well, takes the shot to the far corner and it's in the net. Iniesta with his thumb sucking celebration for his daughter. That's... 5 defenders he went through, think it deflected off Amat as well. second goal for Iniesta since his daughter was born.
30' Callejon marked by Fontas tries to make a cross but Pique clears for a corner.
31' Corner taken by Callejon, but Xavi is there to clear it.
31' Espanyol near the area again, cleared by Mascherano for another corner.
32' Callejon and Osvaldo have swapped sides. i do not know why.
33' Oh god i can hear Guardiola shouting. 66% posession for Barca so far.
34' Too much pressure near the goal so Mascherano clears it for a throw in.
35' Camera zooming in as Mascherano passes and trips. awesome timing there...
36' Into the area for Messi, pass to Villa and his shot deflected off the knees of a defender.
36' Iniesta catches the rebound and gets it to Xavi, who pushes it to messi, to Villa again, he's unmarked and he misses. are you serious. he was literally like 2 metres from it.
38' Messi loses control of the ball, chases back after it, gets it back, and gets tripped up by Ivan De Pena.
39' Xavi taking a corner, looking for Pique, but Espanyol take posession, going for a counter attack, Mascherano easily steals the ball off.
40' Xavi with the ball, tripped up by Javi Marquez.
40' Verdu trying to get away with the ball going out of play but it's right under the lineman's nose.
41' Messi down, he's back up again. nothing was given.
42' Messi through the defense, he puts it through in the area for Villa, who dashes out as Kameni makes the save, a fraction quicker and it would've been a goal. Kameni caught Villa's boot in his face. He's down but he's alright.
43' Iniesta fouling, think it was an obstrution.
43' Chica takes a shot but he's offside.
45' Busquets puts it through for Villa, who waits for Messi but it's a fraction too late.
45' Corner for Barca. Taken quickly, Kameni out for a save.
46' Foul given to Espanyol but the ref has blown for half time.
Interesting half. Missed a shitload of chances. 1 - 0 up, means nothing though, look at last week's game...
lol David Villa running out of the tunnel and accidently hitting the ref .
45' Osvaldo taking Pique on and Pique manages to block his shot by sticking his foot out.
46' Iniesta looking for Messi, gets to Pedro and comes off the keeper for a corner.
47' Corner taken by Xavi, Pique heads it in, and it's a GOAL! Puyol standing up in the stands. He's doing that 22 thing, it better not be Shakira.
49' Busquets commiting a foul and giving a free kick away.
50' Chica's gone down from a challenge off Messi.
51' Osvaldo looking for Luis Garcia, he puts it long and Garcia has to double back. Valdes gets hold of the ball.
52' Iniesta into the area, wanting to take it alone, reluctant to use Villa who's by his side.
52' Iniesta down from Amat's elbow in his face.
53' Osvaldo with a great strike, rotating around to take the shot. Valdes has to stretch to save it.
53' Villa on the counter attack but it's cleared out by the defence for a corner.
54' Corner taken short, Xavi and Messi putting it through to the midfield.
54' ABIDAL IS WARMING UP!
55' Ref blowing up for a handball from Busquets but the replay shows it only touched his chest.
Ref being influenced by Espanyol players.
56' Osvaldo dribbling in to the area, takes another shot at Valdes as Pique slips up. Good save.
58' Alves doing a One two with Pedro, but it's cut off.
58' Callejon is off for A Vasquez.
59' Espanyol trying to push the game up with pressure but Barca are quick to clear it in defense.
59' Giovanni Van Bronkhurst sitting above Puyol in the stands tonight. Giovanni having played for Barca
60' Messi taken down just outside the area by Javi Lopez. Free kick. What is it with this ref and making slow dicisions!
61' Pedro booked for shoving and elbowing. in the wall.
62' Kameni booked for disturbing the Ref.
62' Messi looking nonchalantly at the ball as he waits for the people to stop making a fuss in the wall.
62' He takes the shot and it goes into the wall, coming out for a corner.
63' Corner taken and Pique almost makes another header into the goal but Kameni prevents it from happening again.
65' Xavi trying to get it through to Alves but he's blocked by Luis Garcia.
66' Espanyol on the counter attack and Pedro comes to clear it.
66' Villa on the counter attack and goes for a shot but hits the side netting.
67' Maxwell and Adriano seen in the stands.
68' Luis Garcia on the attack, it's cleared for an Espanyol corner. They don't make much of it.
70' Pique dribbling into the Espanyol half and takes on a few defenders on his own.
70' Abidal is coming on for Fontas! YES! 20 minutes for Abidal's comeback. He and Fontas both given a standing ovation.
72' Pique flipping out because his defence isn't with him.
72' Iniesta with a run to put it to Messi and then to Villa but Villa's pass back is intercepted.
73' Messi puts it through to iniesta, who crosses it across the face of goal to Villa. why! Why! intercepted again! he could've just gone for another goal. sigh.
75' Villa flicks it to Abidal who tries to flick it back but loses control of it.
75' Isais is on for Javi Lopez.
77' We can't see anything but Osvaldo is covering his face after a collison with pique. I think he just accidently whacked him in the nose or something. There was no contact, tackle wise. They're both laughing about it.
78' Pedro running all the way down the pitch but it's out for a goal kick when the clearnece comes off him.
78' what the fuck!? no 7 Christiano Ronaldo has popped up onto the screen. NO reason.
79' messi taken down near the box, nothing given. Afellay seen warming up.
79' Osvaldo trying to chup it in to goal, but it goes wide.
80' Vasquez taking a shot from afar but it's easy for Valdes to get hold of it.
80' Xavi is caught but nothing given.
82' Villa keeps getting denied of his goals. Intercepted after iniesta puts the ball through to him.
82' Afellay is on for Pedro. it looked like Iniesta was out but he's just out for a drink. 7 minutes to go.
84' Villa getting intercepted by Isais but it's a handball and Isais is booked for it. Free kick is taken and Barcelona is forced back to the midfield and eventually defense.
85' Luis Garcia offside... very close call. Actually Osvaldo was.
86' Abidal trying to put it through to Villa or Messi but loses posession.
86' Valdes comes rushing out some 20 yards from goal to boot the ball back up the field.
87' Afellay! running down the wing with crazy pace but he's been run out of space and it's out for a goal kick.
88' Messi puts it through for Afellay who pulls it in for a cross and it's almost an own goal as it's intercepted.
89' Xavi with a standing ovation as Keita comes on for him.
89' High foot from Keita hitting a shoulder while the corner is taken.
90' Pique has the captain's armband..... around the waistband of his shorts?
91' Vasuquez pretty much sits on Busquets in his fall from going for a header.
92' Abidal with the ball through to Messi and the ref blows for full time!

we need one point to win the league.
okay. midweek.
i now need to watch this despite having a presentation the next day.

Barcelona Osasuna

Ha! Barca against Osasuna. Last time they played each other there was that whole fuss about the bus and the air traffic and the stupid federation taking back their permission to delay the game...
Smart move by Guardiola, starting without Pique, Puyol, Pedro, Messi, Iniesta, Xavi.
Osasuna have 3 player on match ban and 3 more injured.
I'm really glad that Thiago is starting, as well as milito. jeffern on the other hand...

0' Kick off! The crowd chanting Barca! Barca!
1' Corner kick for Barca, Afellay is taking it!
2' David Villa with the ball! It's SO frustrating when he has that moment of hesitation, and misses his chance. he was unmarked!
4' Replay of Nacho handballing…. or possible handballing. meh. not really a penalty anyway.
5' Afellay takes a shot from afar and it's not far at all! it was about….. 28 yards out-ish! just touching over the net…. good shot!
7' Some extreme foul play right under the ref's nose…. jeffern is held by the shirt off a Osasuna player…. nothing given at all. psh... la liga refs…
8' God Pique shown in the stands next to Shakira. Bojan next to Puyol…. did pique ditch Puyol for Shakira!?
9' Tiki taka tiki taka…..
10' Few passes between Afellay and Villa but it ends with a deflection out for a corner….
12' Osasuna taking fucking ages for a throw in…
13' Gaby Milito trying to defend…. ball goes all the way through… it goes out the backline, but only after taking a deflection off busquets.
15' Osasuna take a shot but it's cleared by Victor Valdes. Pep isn't impressed.
16' Jeffern trying to make a run but it's so easily cleared out. god. he's tripping and falling everywhere.
17' David Villa taken down right outside the area. its a free kick. if he takes it, it won't get in… i hope i'm wrong. Actually Dani Alves takes it. just into the wall at waist height. i don't understand why we inisist on letting him take these.
19' Jeffern getting owned again…
19' Osasuna offside… probably wouldn't have done much with that one anyway.
20' there's some obstruction in front of Villa. it isn't given but he's annoyed.
21' Strike from distance. Gaby Milito can't clear it, but it goes straight into Valdes' hands.
23' GOAL! DAVID VILLA! VILLLLLAAAAAAAAAAA FIRST GOAL IN 12 GAMES! FINALLY! oh pep knew that trying to end a goal drought against madrid was probably not a good idea. Jeffern assist, finally putting himself to good use after 23 minutes.
25' Osasuna coach getting a talking to from the ref….
26' Thiago is completely covered in sweat….. it's a osasuna free kick after a foul some 22 yards out. it goes over the wall and over the wall.
27' Victor Valdes throwing a tantrum for a bit… the ball went out and he went to pick it up. linesmen calls it a corner.
28' Free kick for Osasuna for a tug on the shirt by Villa on Nelson.
29' Osasuna trying to cross the ball into the area, but just goes straight to Victor Valdes.
29' Jeffern being outmuscled by Nelson… again.
30' Afellay fouled and a free kick given.
31' i am suddenly really really impressed by Mascherano's speed. he makes a crucial clearence in defense.
32' Jeffern tries to make a cross to Villa but he's a fraction of a second late after tripping over (again) and Villa's shot is blocked.
34' Cejudo is down and he can't get up after a challenge from Maxwell. he's clutching his back. Meanwhile Xavi is in the stands with a poker face on.
36' Villa makes a run but the ball is loose and it's stolen off him.
37' Thiago is setting himself as far back as the defensive line…. not sure why.
38' Keita fouled twice and the ball goes out of play… throw in for Osasuna, no free kick given for either challenge. Iniesta throwing his arms up on the bench.
39' Cejudo going for a shot but it's cleared by Maxwell. Osasuna's corner, they take a shot but Valdes just holds on to the ball easily.
39' We see messi in the stands… in the backrow, like he's hiding or something.
41' commentator needs to stop talking about the copa del rey.
41' Dani Alves with a rough challenge but just laughs when the foul is given against him.
43' Adriano seen in the stands with his injury. He's leaving the stands. why…
44' holy ball shit. the ball struck about a yard away from the goal and valdes just pushes it out for a corner.
45' Three shots from Osasuna in a minute. Victor Valdes saving the first two and the third goes over the bar. come on…. where is our defense…
45' Half time whitle goes…

45' Andres Iniesta is the only change at the break. Jeffren is off. ha.
46' Villa put forward but can't get to the ball.
49' Dani Alves catches Sola in the face and Alves goes into the referee's book, although i might say that he's over-reacting to a brush on the face. Free kick near the corner and Victor Valdes needed to make a save.
50' Afellay goes down. Monreal with a brutal challange on him. Looks like he's been caught in the ankle. It takes him a few moments but he's back on his feet.
53' Ah what a tackle from Milito. Clean, precise, and giving Barca back their posession. finally.
54' Dani Alves going for a shot but it just gets blocked by the wall of defense.
57' Messi is on. David Villa coming off for him. not sure if that's going to be a positive move. We'll see. We'll see.
58' Damia foes to ground between Maxwell and Busquets. Free kick.
59' Thiago puts a bal forward for Afellay to chase. He tries to get it back inside for Messi but it's cut out by the Osasuna defense.
60' Messi puts the ball through for Thiago but he clashes with Cejudo and he's off for treatmeant. Thiago is fine though.
62' Free kick for Osasuna. Not sure why though, it looks like a fair challenge to me by Mascherano.
63' Gaby Milito is down and Macherano is helpng him elevate and flex his like a physio. Xavi is warming up, not Fontas. Milito is getting treatment on the sidelines. gooooooodddddddddd we have no defense.
65' Xavi is on for him! WHAT! WE HAVE NO DEFENSE. looks like Busquets is going to have to drop back into central defense with Mascherano.
67' Ball kept in play by inesta but the linemen says no.
67' Camunas with the ball but the linesman's flag goes up for offside.
69' Monreal clears out with a header and it's a corner for Barca. Xavi takes it, goes to Messi, back to Xavi and he takes a shot, a very wide shot.
70' what the fuck. Iniesta taken to ground at the edge of the box and it's not given! why no free kick! god jesus la liga refs.
72' Victor Valdes with a goal kick that runs striaght into the touchline.
73' Alright. If i ever meet this commentator my fist will probably end up in his face. He won't stop going on about why Barcelona have failed lately.
74' Dani Alves swings one in for Iniesta but his volley goes just above the crossbar.
75' hahahahhaa Nelson goes for a shot 45 yards out.
76' Messi almost goes down, could've asked for a free kick, the ref waves play on, he flicks it towards Afellay and it's deflected for a corner.
77' Sola fouls Dani Alves. Free kick for Barca. looks like Osasuna ready to make some changes in their lineup.
77' Nekounam is booked.
78' Afellay tries for a cross into the 6 yard box but no one is there to recieve it.
79' Necunan goes for a shot but it goes above the bar.
80' Double substitution for Osasuna.
80' Keita booked for a challenge on the Lolo.
80' Shot from Osasuna. Doesn't find the back of the net though.
82' grah, fail pass from iniesta and it just goes out to touch. we need. another. goal.
83' Late Late Late challenge and obstruction on Xavi by Timor. Timor is booked.
85' Afellay's cross cut out for a corner. come on!
86' Xavi going for a cross to Keita but it goes nowhere. graaaaaaaah.
86' Calleja is on for Cejudo.
86' LIONEL. LIONEL MESSI. GOAL. 2 - 0 to BARCA! Dani Alves puts the ball just in front of the Osasuna defense and Messi is there to put it at the back of the net.
88' They're at it again, Dani Alves and Messi making one-twos in the area. This time Osasuna is ready this time though, they're there to cut out an possible third goal.
89' Osasuna with another corner.
89' Jesus Christ. We look at the Shakira and Pique in the stands when Messi scored the goal. She kisses him on the cheek, and then on the lips, and he kisses her back again. and then i roll my eyes.
92' FULL TIME
BARCELONA 2 OSASUNA 0
eh. game kinda sucked. we had no magical touch as we usually do.
looks like maxwell may have picked up an injury. sigh. not another defender….
kind of worried about the madrid match in the champions. we are screwed. Madrid won 6 - 3 against Valencia earlier.

Almeria Barcelona

It's a strange lineup.
We're not even using 4-4-3. I'm not sure what Pep's intentions are.... Thiago is starting! and so is bojan. But lets see how thiago plays with Xavi...
Milito is starting as well... lets see how he does. Valdes is on suspention, so we have pinto, who has recovered from his sprained ankle.

1' Commentator won't shut up. he's talking about other games and other leagues. shut up... trying to watch game... STOP TALKING ABOUT MADRID.
3' we're pushed quite far up the field... but no real chances so far.
5' the ball comes forward but bojan is too slow for it...
7' oh my god he's talking about madrid again!
8' Pinto fucks up a kick and it just goes out the corner.... come on....
9' i'd like messi to score tonight.... purely because cristiano ronaldo had scored against bilbao earlier...
10' messi comes in from the right but is blocked off.... why is he soaking wet?
11' BY THE WAY.... if messi or mascherano pick up a yellow card they will be OUT OF THE CLASICO.
13' Ha, messi goes for a break but "can't wriggle his way through"
13' Pinto fucks up a kick again and gets it out of play.
14' Barcelona has been dominated over by Almeria so far...
15' oh god. bojan gets the ball and runs it into the area... thiago runs into the ball and it goes over the bar!
16' Bojan is penalised for a handball.... and booked. undeserved, it was unintetional. not his fualt.
17' camera is slowly zooming into eric abidal in the stands.... the camera man is a creeper.
18' Crusat is taken down near the area and Mascherano is booked! No! he misses the clasico! no! no! no!
19' the corner comes in for almeria and the shot goes on target but pinto makes a good save!
21' oh my fucking god. Iniesta comes into the area having finally found himself in this game, and gets it to bojan, who passes to messi, back to iniesta, who fails to strike it, gets it back to messi and it goes wide. he was like... 3 yards away from it. it's a corner though.
21' Alves' shot goes over and short....
23' They say Piatti in Almeria is the shortest player in La Liga, and Barcelona is the shortest team in La Liga... have i not emphisised on the shortness of Barca over the last... year?
24' Iniesta looks for Alves in the area with a pass but the keeper gets hold of it...
24' Bojan gets the ball to Messi but he's taken down outside the area. no foul.
25' Bojan goes down and is holding his ankle... referee doesn't stop the play. Iniesta goes for a shot and it's not too far off.
26' Bojan is limping... take him off pep!
27' Pedro, Villa and Afellay are all warming up. Bojan is on the side looking for treatment.
28' Messi makes a run and beats 4 defenders but can't finish it!
28' Bojan is limping back on.... why isn't he being subbed off?
28' He's comming off. he's furious.
29' Messi comes in but gets blocked off. Piatti on the conter attack and Pique gets the ball off him in a very good challenge.
30' Villa is on for Bojan.... he can't continue.... it looks like a twist or sprain.
31' HA HAHAHAHAHHAA. Piatti went to ground after minimal contact with Pique... he's annoyed... PIQUE is annoyed that Piatti went down, and then comes up and teases him.... he's so. so short next to Pique.
32' Messi breaks into the defence and Maxwell comes in to take a shot and it gets deflected back into the area and they both panic for a second before Maxwell takes a shot over the bar.
33' Alves makes a shot but it's wide.
33' Diego Alves saves Messi's close shot...
36' Thiago is taken down by Juanito and the referee won't give a foul.
37' Iniesta tries to set Villa up but he's offside...
40' God. the last minute and a half was like 15 passes in 18 yard box. without losing posession but unable to score, until Xavi's shot goes wide.
42' With an attack from Almeria, Barcelona try to take advantage of them out of defensive posession but lose momentum and Almeria get back quickly.
44' Xavi is taken down... Bernadello is booked for his challenge on Xavi. He'd just run over Xavi's legs when he didn't even have the ball.
44' Messi takes a shot and Diego Alves makes the save. Barcelona want to take the corner but the referee blows the whistle for half time. Pique is flipping the fuck out saying that he should've let them take the corner. Xavi is just talking calmly to him.

Half time and no score.... kinda shit compared to the 8 - 0 away win earlier in the league against Almeria. Then again they did fire the manager after that game. And then barcalona played them in the copa del rey, winning 5 - 0 and 3 - 0 on both legs. that manager also got sacked a week ago.
HA! camera goes onto two people trying to cut either lasangna or cake. can't tell. still looks funny... considering they're in a stadium....
Obviously we're looking to break the defense this half. Lets see how it goes...
47' Almeria on the attack but Juanito strikes it a long way wide.
48' Messi and Xavi have an exchange of passes but Xavi is then taken down, play goes on a Piatti goes for goal and Pinto saves it.
48' It looks like Villa would end is seven game goal drought but the ball hits the inside post and deflects out!
49' Everyone is in the area for the Barcelona corner and but Piatti takes the ball and runs it all the way down in front of the goal! HE PASSES TO CORONA, GABY MILTIO FAILS TO INTERCEPT THE PASS AND ALMERIA. IS. ONE. GOAL. AHEAD.
51' Villa is running along into the area from a pass by Milito and he's taken down by Diego Alves! it's a penalty! commentator complaing that maybe Villa made the most out of it.... shut up..... MESSI TAKES THE PENALTY! GOAL!
53' Milito comes off and Pedro is on!
54' "messi has turned towards the defenders instead of space tonight, as for crusat, he's intended to turn towards the ground" as Crusat goes to ground after pique merely touches him.
55' SHIT. Villa recieves from iniesta and Diego Alves saves and the ball comes on to Pedro who gets it into the side netting. COME ON.
58' Iniesta takes a shot or something. it goes really wide. maybe he was trying to get it to dani alves. it just goes to nowhere.
59' Villa heads the ball from messi in the 6 yard box, striaght into the arms of Diego Alves.
59' "Marcelo wins the free kick and the referee not winning any friends from the Barcelona side"
61' Messi gets basically gang raped by 5 defenders and still gets the ball out to pedro, who takes a shot that goes straight to diego alves.
62' Ortiz takes Dani Alves down very, very late.... he tries to offer a hand to dani alves to help him up but Dani shys away from it.... like a child...
63' Messi taking a corner... Thiago leaps into a header and the ball is in! GOAL! Thiago! Dani Alves is pushing him off.... eh? is he annoyed? or are the joking around.... 2 - 1 !
66' Keita is on for Thiago! ...interesting...
67' Alves tries to find Villa but an Santiago Acasiete intercepts and almost scores an own goal... it was just wide. last time Almeria played barca he actually scored an own goal...
72' just a few over the bar attemps and off target shots from both teams...
73' Pinto taking his time for a goalkick....
74' Iniesta's volly is high and long over the bar.
76' David Villa is booked for taking Marcelo down. Free kick in a dangerous position... it's cleared by Mascherano.
77' I just realised I'd only just heard Dani Alves shout for the first time...
78' Messi into the area but he's trailed by 3 defenders! oooh....... obstruction..... or being held back..... either way it wasn't called a foul.
83' Messi gets fouled and referee says play on. that's just the game in a nutshell by the way...
84' Mascherano! stop arguing with the ref! already with a yellow card now...
87' Hahaaha pep's face when the ball comes towards his face!
87' Alves runs into the ball but it goes wide...
90' Almeria going for a shot and Pique just protecting the ball... Pinto's just hanging back until Pique shouts for him to get it.
91' Keita smacks the ball forward from about 70 yards out, Messi gets on the end of it, Messi, beats the defender, and the keeper! 3 - 1! Leo Messi Goal!
92' The final whistle goes even though there was meant to

WOOO EL CLASICO NEXT WEEKEND! LOTS OF CLASICOS COMING UP!
actually.... the champions league ones aren't certain, obviously.
but still!
AH! update! BOJAN IS PROBABLY OUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON!
it really hasn't been his season this year :(
Anyway, good thing Messi didn't pick up a card....

Barcelona Villarreal

Oh dear, oh dear, we have so many injuries.
Messi, Pedro, Puyol, Xavi, Maxwell, Abidal
So Afellay and Thiago are starting.
I think we've also opted for a different formation.
MADRID LOST TO GIJON. it's irrelavant, but just saying.

i think if we were to lose anything before going to madrid, it would be this one.
But it is good! I love both their styles of play, it's going to be one hell of a match.
2' Afellay's cross hits the Villarreall defence.
3' Villarreal take control of the ball and go through the barca defence but are ultimately taken down by Keita, it looks like a rough challenge but pla goes on.
5' Villarreal's Rossi takes the ball all the way through our defence and Valdes blocks him out. too close!
6' Dani Alves plays it long for iniesta but we keep posession. Then Thiago coming in once again with a good run but Villarreal manage to clear it out of danger.
8' Free kick is given as Afellay is taken down.
8' David Villa offside. No point in getting angry about this. every single game.
11' ROSSI COMES IN FOR A VERY CLOSE SHOT. victor valdes stops it well and Villarreal unable to get their second shot on target.
13' Valdes has the armband tonight. Interesting.
13' Villa is offside again. SO CLOSE.
14' Mascherano writhing in pain on the floor. Bruno is booked. it would NOT be good for another injury! Looks like a gash on his leg by the studs of Bruno's boots. He's gone off the sidelines for treatment.
17' Mascherano back on. Villarreal have been dominating for 2 minutes ish.
18' Keita is taken down.
20' Afellay's cross for Villa is blocked by the keeper. I wonder if Afellay's goal for the Netherlands in the Euros influenced Pep's decision in putting him on.
21' Villarreal appealing for a handball off Busquets but none given.
23' Iniesta's ball looking for Alves but ends up with the keeper. COME ON..... 23 minutes and can't break the deadlock.
25' Mascherano comes in with a late challenge. no booking though.
26' Alves collides with the Villarreal's keeper and he's on the ground clutching his knee.
29' Villarreal coming in from a dangerous position and Mascherano clears it out for a corner.
29' Corner is taken short and Villarreal get it to Rossi, whose shot goes over and wide.
30' craaaaaaaaaap the ball goes across the face of the goal and iniesta doesn't lunge for a goal. maybe it was for the best. no idea.
32' Afellay in pain. not sure why but his expression says it.
34' Barca have a corner but make nothing of it. how come we never take it short? surely we're better on the ground than in the air.
35' Pique once again denying his fouling. it's a funny mixture between cheekiness and anger.
38' Adriano goes for a long shot after a long run of posession but it's into the keeper's hands.
39' Pique is booked, even though he's the one in pain. It was a late challenge though.
40' Pique striking the ball forwards from far back. Not sure why, it wasnt to anyone. Perhaps going for a Xabi Alonso signature goal. it just goes to the keeper though.
41' David Villa in space but Catala blocks him out.
45' Whistle goes for the first half. the reason why there's nothing there in the last 4 minutes is because it's basically just both teams failing to get any shots in despite being in space.

MESSI IS WARMING UPPPPPP. my life is complete? hahaha Thiago is speaking to Afellay, HE SPEAKS ENGLISH! YES. i've also managed to blog the entire first half without swearing. congradulate me...

46' we're just constantly being outmuscled by villarreal.
47' Iniesta's shot is on target, having been set up by afellay, but the keeper just tips it over.
48' Afellay trying to unpick some of the defence but finally taken after 3 defenders.
48' Villa shoots! but it's wide. sigh.
49' Alves is down. Marchena is booked. why is alves clutching his arm.... need a replay on this. he's been stepped on the arm. right. that. is. foul.
51' Alves' shot is over and wide. it was from far. so it's forgivable.
52' MESSI IS ON FOR..... they say afellay, he starts walking off but they call him back! it's Keita that's coming off. that was weird...
54' Alves is booked for pushing in a challange.
55' Afellay makes a beast of a run with extreme speed but no one is there to catch his pass other than the keeper.
56' shit Nilmar is coming on. ooooooooooh. interesting.
57' Victor Valdes.... some 32 feet away from the goal comes out and.... heads the ball out of danger. so un-goalkeeper-like of him.
60' the last three minutes was some lose attacks without any real danger.... and me realise how incredibly short our team is. we look so tiny. and villarreal look massive in yellow.
61' aahrhghgiugaueuaef messi makes the run, pique was almost in to take the shot but he was offside and didn't bother going for it, would've been amazing though, pique so far up front.
just wanted to highlight the fact that gerard pique, the centre back, was offside.
64' Thiago was onside, but it was just, JUST an inch wide from the goal. come ooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!!!
65' Afellay takes a shot but the keeper manages to block it. it was good though.
65' sigh... messi's beard is so non-existence and non ginger
66' PIQUUUUEEEE PPPIIIIQQQUUUEEEEEEEE OMGGG!!! finally! broken the deadlock!!! Corner taken by Alves, Busquets heads it, pique controls with his chest and strikes it in! waka waka! he's in disbelief i think. amazing. crowd chanting "gerard, pique, pique, pique"
69' Villa is off for Bojan! i hope he does well.... it would be nice to get another. god they're both so short.
73' We've been holding posession for a bit now. Funny thing is, the minute Bojan sees a defender in front he flips out. granted he gets the ball but he was waving his arms all over the place.
75' the commentator needs to stop fucking talking. he's saying that pique's chest control might be a handball. firstly, the ref didn't call it, so shut the fuck up. he's just stirring shit up. and secondly, his job is to commentate the game, not what would happen if it was a handball and what the press would do with it.
78' Villarreal get a free kick for late challenge. it's outside the 18 yard box. so like 23 yards away. shot swerves away from the wall but goes wide.
79' Victor Valdes defending like a centre back and chesting the ball away.
81' oooh a free kick for messi, taken down just outside 18 yards. messi takes a shot and it's blocked out but the keeper.
82' looks like jonathan dos santos will come on.
83' Bojan going for a cross but pique and messi are both offside.
83' Dos Santos is on for Afellay.
84' Rossi comes in the corner and karate kicks the ball outto a goal kick.
85' Santi Cazorla less than 6 yards away strikes it out and valdes manages to save it! and once again when the ball comes in from a corner, when things just got messy right in front of the goal. Valdes catches it, and everyone is shaking his hand, Dani Alves even gives him a huge. that was an amazing moment.
87' Messi comes in with space but is blocked by gonzalo..... barca regain posession.
88' Villarreal suddenly coming in with lots of energy! All the barca players are on the ground trying for tackles!
88' Alves gets the ball on the right of the goal but loses control and gives it away. Villarreal on the counter attack!
88' It's a huge mess in front of the goal! Busquets is taken down and a free kick is given for barca!
89' 3 minutes added time!
90' Villarreal desperately trying to go for a goal!
91' Santi Cazorla goes for goal but it's high and wide and they finally breaks up the play. Someone's been booked.... or something. it's a bit of a mess. Busquets is booked. He's missing the Almeria game! not el clasico! deliberate time wasting. Looks like Valdes was booked earlier was time wasting as well, but he was saying he needed someone to kick the ball, since he's injured, and wasn't wasting time deliberately.

93' FULL TIME! WOAH! what a game! Valdes is ecstatic, having captained and done so well today.
WE'RE 8 POINTS AHEAD OF MADRID!!!!!
yes, i know i've missed out a few matches. They're on my DVR, i will catch up when i can.

Mallorca vs Barcelona

Today all Puyol, Xavi, Valdes and Dani Alves are all out of the game, with the first 3 on injury and Dani Alves on suspension.
Iniesta is therefore captain. Nadal and David Bisbal are in the stands!
Grah, Keita is filling in for Xavi. I was hoping Pep would let thiago start.
1' Mallorca take a shot and pinto makes an easy save!
3' Barcelona finally holding on to some posession.
3' Maxwell just giving the ball away and failing to get the ball to villa. Keita does well to recover poesession.
5' Mallorca forward Nsue makes a break and gets away with it! oh dear this is like the game against Gijon all over again
6' Maxwell and Nsue battling for the ball but Maxwell is fouled.
7' Someone gets a finger in the eye from Keita from an arial challenge.
8' oh dear. Messi making a break but just loses the ball
9' Cringe. the commentator just called Pique the official boyfriend of Shakira.
11' Up front Pedro blocks off Mallorca defence but the ball goes out of the backline. Quiet game from Villa and Pedro so far...
13' Messi makes a break but can't get through the defense, so he sends it back and keita takes a shot from distance. It's an easy save for their keeper.
14' DAVID VILLA OFFSIDE. i must say he's been getting better though.
14' Pedro is covering his back in pain.... better not be serious.
15' Pique recieves the ball behind the goal line and it's a corner! i swear if they score.... OH THE BALL IS OVER THE CROSSBAR.
17' Commentator: once again there's a fou- er a challange.
18' Mallorca take another corner and Pinto just tips it out but they're still in posession. okay they're not anymore. it goes out for a goal kick.
19' VILLA IS OFFSIDE AGAIN.
22' Villa gets hold of the ball and passes it to messi but the ball gets cleared for a corner.
24' what... why is david villa in defence. get back in front!
25' Messi's run out of space and the referee initially calls a goal kick but decides later on that it's a corner.
27' remember what happend last time? Mallorca came to the Nou Camp and drew with Barca. If it happens again in a dull match i would be annoyed because im so tired.
28' Mallorca with a shot from distance but pinto saves it. one of these chances will go through though...
29' Ruben commits a challange on Messi and their keeper just picks up the ball.
30' One two between iniesta and messi but messi can't finish it! it goes over the bar!
32' not quite sure why pique is seriously taking his time with the free kick. It was almost like Xabi Alonso's yellow card in the champions league with timewasting, other than the fact that Real Madrid were winning then and it was deliberate.
32' GERARD PIQUE THE CENTRAL DEFENDER IS OFFSIDE.
36' oof Adriano's cross/shot skims across the face of the goal.
37' GOALLLLLLLLLLL! MESSI! i'll be honest it, i missed seeing it. just waiting for the replay. NICE. he heads it once to himself, and once into the goal! i reckon people have to stop taking into account that he's 5'7 and never under estimate him in the air.
40' oh dear, we've just tried to score twice in a minute and failed drastically. Villa hesitated and barca lost momentum and it got cleared, and then messi failed to bring it under control.
42' Pedro gets hooked on the leg but the referee is obviously blind, as with all refs. he's pretty beat up this game.
45' villa stopped by the wall of defense and the whistle is blown for half time.

kick off - having my dinner = typing less.

45' the commentator just called pique mr shakira. oh im annoyed now.
48' bojan warming up.... and afellay!
49' mallorca's free kick up front is picked up by pinto. the little two man wall with villa and messi in front is so cute.
51' Villa fail. he's trying to pass it through but mallorca gets right on it
54' Maxwell gives the ball away but abidal recovers posession at the back. Abidal is really doing brilliantly this game.
56' GOAL! i missed it again. went on tumblr and got distracted. come on replay. david villa! he makes a break when none of the mallorca defense is back. one on one with the keeper and david villa wins. it's 2 - 0.
62' Villa's got hit in the face. he didn't have the ball. why isn't the other guy booked. yeah in the last 6 minutes nothing has happend except for a mallorca substitution.
63' castro makes a shot but pinto saves it off.
64' late challenge on adriano! WHY ISN'T THE GUY BOOKED. IT WAS HIGH AS WELL.
65' OH MY GOD. PEDRO! PEDRO GOAL! IT WAS! WOW. outside the 18 yard box, at an angle, fires it to the far top corner of the goal. he's beaten ibrahimovic's goal total for last season... hmmm....
68' oooof iniesta just short of control there, which is rare but the ball leaks through to the keeper.
69' another substitution for mallorca, and barcelona as well. villa and pedro off, afellay and bojan comming on. COME ON BOJAN. GET A GOAL.
72' NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INIESTA! the goal was open and he pulls it just wide! nooooooo! it would've been beautiful!
74' busquets is down. i saw someone go down and i knew it was busquets. because no other barca player would've been down from that.
77' pinto just shouting at his players there. they've given away two corners in a row.
80' bojan down. just got pushed there.... uhm....
83' bojan goes down but did put up a bit of strength before so. im somewhat impressed.
he's getting in a bit of a row now, i think he's said something really rude and almost got slapped but he stopped it.
85' montoya is on for adriano. er, i've never even seen him in my life before. i need to learn more about the B team.
90' full time.
eh. it was okay. the second half was really good. the first half was a bit eh until messi scored.
i do consider it a huge win though, because so many people are out and we've managed to come a way with such a good win.

Sporting Gijon Barcelona Part 1

Me and Tishta decided to watch this game together and have an online conversation about the game instead of me just commentating on the game. I have NO idea why she chose to use the name Moctuplet. I am alf obviously. The game started at 3.00 am.

Alf. says: (2:59:46 AM)

IT'S STARTING! oh ew, they're in their green shorts again

Moctuplet says: (3:00:02 AM)

xavi is captain!

Alf. says: (3:00:30 AM)

sporting gijon! david villa started here.

Moctuplet says: (3:00:38 AM)

si! pique is such a giant

Moctuplet says: (3:01:34 AM)

afellay's debut starting in la liga!

Alf. says: (3:01:43 AM)

KICK OFF!

Moctuplet says: (3:02:16 AM)

what do you think the score will be?

Moctuplet says: (3:02:25 AM)

this is my first live match

Alf. says: (3:02:37 AM)

i realised

Alf. says: (3:02:47 AM)

what.... do i think the score... i want to say 2 - 1... i WANT to say that

Moctuplet says: (3:03:15 AM)

but?

Alf. says: (3:03:24 AM)

i think we'll win

Moctuplet says: (3:03:30 AM)

a throw in

Alf. says: (3:03:34 AM)

i don't want to put in a big prediction

Alf. says: (3:03:37 AM)

fail.

Alf. says: (3:03:54 AM)

so tonight busquets, abidal, puyol, and pedro are all off. puyol still injured, xavi is captain.

Moctuplet says: (3:04:34 AM)

and bojan

Moctuplet says: (3:04:39 AM)

ooh shot

Moctuplet says: (3:04:42 AM)

saved

Alf. says: (3:04:47 AM)

from the REGULAR lineup mate. bojan. doesn't. start.

Moctuplet says: (3:05:08 AM)

yes, thank you for making that painfully obvious.

Alf. says: (3:05:10 AM)

gaby milito takes the ball off gijon!

Moctuplet says: (3:06:02 AM)

oooh ball got "nicked" off iniesta. that doesn't happen often

Alf. says: (3:06:04 AM)

i like that milito is finally having a start

Alf. says: (3:06:35 AM)

i don't think gaby milito's challenge was really a penalty

Alf. says: (3:07:15 AM)

dani alves. gerard pique. what were you doing

Moctuplet says: (3:07:26 AM)

that just completely missed alves

Alf. says: (3:07:27 AM)

just standing there waiting for them to give up. CLEAR IT.

Alf. says: (3:07:45 AM)

lucky the shot was over the bar.

Moctuplet says: (3:07:49 AM)

barca corner

Alf. says: (3:08:02 AM)

they're not going to score from it

Moctuplet says: (3:08:14 AM)

it's gone over.

Alf. says: (3:08:23 AM)

tooooold you. milito can't get it on target

Moctuplet says: (3:08:44 AM)

gijon look like candy canes

Alf. says: (3:09:34 AM)

well. in that case. so does athletic bilbao and atletico.

Moctuplet says: (3:09:38 AM)

lio messsiiii. his shot is block.

Alf. says: (3:09:45 AM)

i hate this. Messi taking the corner short.

Moctuplet says: (3:10:03 AM)

they've got multiple players on each forward

Alf. says: (3:10:12 AM)

that's not surprising. teams have learnt to do that against barcelona. but remember dani alves plays up a lot.

Moctuplet says: (3:10:45 AM)

true. and iniesta loses the ball again

Moctuplet says: (3:11:23 AM)

second corner kick for sporting

Alf. says: (3:11:39 AM)

it wasn't close. the commentator said it was close

Moctuplet says: (3:11:54 AM)

it wasn't close at all

Alf. says: (3:12:04 AM)

shot from distance from gijon

Alf. says: (3:12:11 AM)

where's our defence mate.

Moctuplet says: (3:12:11 AM)

pique anger? i would be too

Moctuplet says: (3:12:40 AM)

free kick

Alf. says: (3:12:56 AM)

mascherano fouling, it's not unheard of.

Alf. says: (3:13:10 AM)

this formation is so strange.

Moctuplet says: (3:13:19 AM)

why another free kick?

Alf. says: (3:13:33 AM)

apparently dani alves pushed him

Alf. says: (3:13:59 AM)

i'm not sure what's wrong with the defence today

Moctuplet says: (3:14:06 AM)

no puyi?

Moctuplet says: (3:14:32 AM)

yellow card!

Alf. says: (3:14:32 AM)

no he's been gone for weeks. puyol i mean

Moctuplet says: (3:14:46 AM)

si, that is true

Alf. says: (3:15:29 AM)

barcelona might just be tired from the internationals

Moctuplet says: (3:15:45 AM)

it's possible seeing as more than half the team is on the international side

Moctuplet says: (3:15:52 AM)

i'm glad pique's back's fine

Alf. says: (3:16:37 AM)

they're not concentrating

Alf. says: (3:16:53 AM)

i really wish abidal was on...

Moctuplet says: (3:17:11 AM)

maybe he's the one who's got the fitness issue

Moctuplet says: (3:17:19 AM)

maxwell's not bad

Alf. says: (3:17:39 AM)

OMG

Moctuplet says: (3:17:43 AM)

whhhhhattttt

Alf. says: (3:17:43 AM)

OMG. I JUST. DIED. INSIDE. IM NOT KIDDING

Alf. says: (3:17:59 AM)

oooooooOOOOOOH

Moctuplet says: (3:18:07 AM)

barral goal.

Alf. says: (3:18:23 AM)

against barcelona.

Alf. says: (3:19:17 AM)

shit!

Alf. says: (3:19:22 AM)

they're making a break again!

Moctuplet says: (3:19:25 AM)

YELLOW CARD

Alf. says: (3:19:27 AM)

mascherano is booked!

Moctuplet says: (3:19:29 AM)

bruck

Alf. says: (3:19:30 AM)

oh god.

Moctuplet says: (3:19:30 AM)

:|

Moctuplet says: (3:19:43 AM)

puta madre

Moctuplet says: (3:19:46 AM)

what's going on

Alf. says: (3:20:06 AM)

if this happens every time you watch a game.

Alf. says: (3:20:09 AM)

i will actually... dope you on sleeping pills every match day

Moctuplet says: (3:20:22 AM)

AHAHAHAHA

Alf. says: (3:21:04 AM)

mope.

Alf. says: (3:22:11 AM)

real madrid playing against espanyol tonigh. no. tomorrow night. i lied. i'm so sorry.

Alf. says: (3:25:05 AM)

OMG

Alf. says: (3:25:08 AM)

DID YOU SEE THAT

Moctuplet says: (3:25:12 AM)

I SAW THAT

Alf. says: (3:25:13 AM)

DID YOU SEE WHAT VILLA JUST DID! THAT. WAS HILARIOUS.

Moctuplet says: (3:25:33 AM)

awkward photo

Alf. says: (3:25:35 AM)

he basically rode the guy. and his legs were over the guys head.....

Alf. says: (3:26:12 AM)

ooooooh villa offside

Moctuplet says: (3:26:14 AM)

GAHHHH

Moctuplet says: (3:26:28 AM)

he was not offside!

Alf. says: (3:26:28 AM)

fucker. linesman.

Moctuplet says: (3:27:05 AM)

sporting throw in...

Alf. says: (3:27:18 AM)

why is pep licking his lips so much. does he do that when he's annoyed....

Moctuplet says: (3:27:33 AM)

nervous probably

Alf. says: (3:27:58 AM)

anxious

Alf. says: (3:28:14 AM)

dani alves changes boots every week

Moctuplet says: (3:28:14 AM)

right now i'm very glad that there was no gijon attack

Alf. says: (3:28:28 AM)

is alves not tied to one sponsor?

Moctuplet says: (3:28:31 AM)

his shoes are awesome

Alf. says: (3:29:25 AM)

the tiki taka isn't working today

Moctuplet says: (3:29:29 AM)

Gijon has excellent defense

Alf. says: (3:29:37 AM)

we've lost our magic haven't we.

Moctuplet says: (3:29:54 AM)

we haven't lost our magic

Alf. says: (3:29:59 AM)

yes we have

Moctuplet says: (3:30:00 AM)

the magic gerbil will do something (messi)

Alf. says: (3:30:07 AM)

did you just see that... that was. horrible.

Moctuplet says: (3:30:21 AM)

that was a terrible attempt to score

Alf. says: (3:30:31 AM)

the build-up to the shot was horrible. the shot was horrible.

Alf. says: (3:30:57 AM)

milito is a violent man

Moctuplet says: (3:30:59 AM)

they're falling all over the place

Alf. says: (3:31:21 AM)

oh thank god. pique cleared out.

Moctuplet says: (3:31:55 AM)

another gijon corner. that was wayyy over

Alf. says: (3:32:30 AM)

there. pep just licked his lips for like. 4 times in a row.

Moctuplet says: (3:32:35 AM)

it's like pep's trying to talk to xavi and is being ignored

Alf. says: (3:32:44 AM)

maybe his voice is too soft.

Moctuplet says: (3:32:45 AM)

how cold is it o.o

Moctuplet says: (3:33:12 AM)

8 degrees today

Moctuplet says: (3:33:21 AM)

gahh i have no idea how people play in the cold for so long

Alf. says: (3:33:42 AM)

that's not too cold

Moctuplet says: (3:34:41 AM)

damn

Alf. says: (3:34:49 AM)

INIESTA'S SHOT ON TARGET IS SAVED! NOOOOOOOOO!!

Moctuplet says: (3:34:52 AM)

almost goal... they're hesitating

Alf. says: (3:35:30 AM)

i need a jacket.

Moctuplet says: (3:35:44 AM)

go get one

Alf. says: (3:35:55 AM)

fine

Moctuplet says: (3:35:57 AM)

goal kick

Alf. says: (3:36:00 AM)

i shall run

Moctuplet says: (3:36:17 AM)

runnn like the wind

Alf. says: (3:36:27 AM)

19 seconds

Moctuplet says: (3:36:33 AM)

yellow card?

Alf. says: (3:36:44 AM)

yes

Moctuplet says: (3:36:48 AM)

"he's a professional fouler"

Alf. says: (3:36:57 AM)

so is mascherano

Alf. says: (3:37:15 AM)

like busquets and cristiano are porfessional divers

Alf. says: (3:37:24 AM)

and bosingwa from chelsea has a professional monobrow

Moctuplet says: (3:37:55 AM)

concentrate on the game you derp

Alf. says: (3:38:01 AM)

im annoyed. that's why i'm talking about other things

Moctuplet says: (3:38:42 AM)

i don't like Gijon. like. the word.

Alf. says: (3:39:04 AM)

BARCELONA ARE LOSING. FC BARCELONA ARE LOSING. LIONEL MESSI IS LOSING. PEP GUARDIOLA'S MEN ARE LOSING. WE ARE LOSING.

Moctuplet says: (3:39:15 AM)

SHUT YOOOOO MOUTH

Alf. says: (3:39:21 AM)

WE ARE GOING TO LOSE. FC BARCELONA ARE GOING TO LOSE.

Moctuplet says: (3:39:28 AM)

pique is quite pink tonight

Alf. says: (3:39:38 AM)

GERARD PIQUE WILL LOSE.

Moctuplet says: (3:39:46 AM)

you are such a pessimist

Moctuplet says: (3:39:52 AM)

villlaaaaaaa

Alf. says: (3:39:58 AM)

DAVID VILLA IS DOWN. AND LOSING.

Moctuplet says: (3:40:02 AM)

medics are on. that looked paiiinful

Alf. says: (3:40:40 AM)

oh good lord.

Moctuplet says: (3:40:49 AM)

butt on face

Alf. says: (3:40:52 AM)

WHAT. HOW WAS THAT A VILLA FOUL. HE WAS LATE TACKLED.

Alf. says: (3:41:30 AM)

it was given to gijon

Moctuplet says: (3:41:38 AM)

puta.

Alf. says: (3:41:59 AM)

BARCELONA LOSING.

Moctuplet says: (3:42:07 AM)

OH MY GOD SHUT UP

Alf. says: (3:42:08 AM)

my grammar is excellant. i know.

Moctuplet says: (3:42:18 AM)

so is your spelling

Moctuplet says: (3:42:21 AM)

"excellant"

Alf. says: (3:42:26 AM)

go. away.

Moctuplet says: (3:42:53 AM)

someone make the commentator shut up

Moctuplet says: (3:43:35 AM)

your mom is losing.

Alf. says: (3:43:44 AM)

your mom is losing me.

Moctuplet says: (3:43:56 AM)

o.o how do barca have 69% posession

Moctuplet says: (3:44:48 AM)

they'll probably do something about defense at half time. put abidal on?

Alf. says: (3:45:04 AM)

and or busquets.

Moctuplet says: (3:45:36 AM)

afellay yellow

Moctuplet says: (3:46:07 AM)

busquets is good

Moctuplet says: (3:46:14 AM)

i have faith in busquets and abidal

Alf. says: (3:46:15 AM)

i hate his diving though

Alf. says: (3:46:28 AM)

my faith is in realism.

Alf. says: (3:46:37 AM)

and the reality. is that. we. are. LOSING.

Moctuplet says: (3:47:12 AM)

free kick

Alf. says: (3:47:12 AM)

i'm not quite sure why there's a chinese ad on the barrier.

Moctuplet says: (3:47:19 AM)

o.o iniesta ankle

Alf. says: (3:47:30 AM)

he's back on his feet. limping though. we can't afford to lose him

Moctuplet says: (3:47:47 AM)

fruck

Alf. says: (3:47:55 AM)

or we will actually lose. the. league.

Alf. says: (3:47:57 AM)

don't go....

Moctuplet says: (3:48:03 AM)

half time

Alf. says: (3:48:08 AM)

pique looks like he might

Moctuplet says: (3:48:15 AM)

stab someone

Alf. says: (3:48:15 AM)

im not quite sure. no. he looks like when he gets in there he'll shout at everyone in catalan and afellay will be like whaat....