Champions Leauge First leg - El Clasico 3/4

Barca are: Valdes, Alves, Pique, Mascherano, Puyol, Busquets, Xabi, Keita, Messi, Villa, Pedro.

Real Madrid are: Casillas, Arbeloa, Ramos, Albiol, Marcelo, Lass, Pepe, Xabi Alonso, Di Maria, Ozil and Ronaldo.

PUYOL IS ON.... ohhhh captainnn!!! he and Casillas shake hands.
Tis the ref who made crucial decisions that affected Barca's elimination off the semi final last year.
0' Kick off!
0' 20 seconds in and we've already lost possession twice.
0' Arbeloa is down following a push off Pedro. Foul given.
1' God the bernabau. fired up when cristiano was within 30 yards of the goal. he wasn't even breaking through.
2' Lass is diving off a push from Keita.
3' several header volleys and madrid lose posession. Iniesta goes for a shot from range.
3' Ronaldo gets the ball and it's straight into a shot but Valdes makes a save.
4' Ref is being a shitface. as is Ramos. who dived. free kick given. Puyol flips out.
5' Pedro running like a manic at Casillas who has the ball. jeez.
6' Sergio Ramos down again. Late challenge by Keita. watch out for the yellow...
7' Pedro being a bit too persistant in trying to get the ball of Arbeloa. in all fairness the lineman is completely blind. they were holding on to each other's shirts without even going for the ball in the first place.
9' Not so sure if Puyol getting in the left back position is such a great idea. Being normally at centre back he comes back to the back more often than any other barca left back. Xavi's had to come back a few times to bring it back to the front.
10' oh villa. what a run, running through 3 defenders. it goes just wide. from distance too!
12' Ah, villa trying to go for another one of those runs. gets cut out by arbeloa.
12' Lass with an arm around Xavi's neck. foul given.
13' One two between Xavi and Messi gets it through the defence and Xavi gets it to Pedro who's shot is cut out by Albiol.
14' Villa and Pedro being extra aggressive. even more so than other Clasicos. lets hope they can keep it up.
15' Messi cut out by Pepe and a combination of the rest of the Madrid defense and midfield.
16' Barca doing the usual "taking a chill pill" method. Madrid fans are getting really worked up by this passing around. well. that's how we do it.
18' Xabi Alonso already looking knackered. really?
18' lol cristiano sends the ball back to victor valdes. i think it was meant to be a shot.
18' Pepe diving for a throw in. it is not working ha.
20' Marcelo taking a short corner but it's cut out when he hesitates too much.
22' A quarter of the game gone. minutes and minutes of barca posession. nothing to it though. my limbs are shaking.
23' Marcelo and Villa going for the ball in the air. Marcelo pushes Villa. Free kick.
24' Xavi! saved by iker casillas. oh so close. so so close. first shot on target for the night.
25' Oh Lass, stop diving. it doesn't work all the time. Pique clears it. Madrid throw in.
25' Arbeloa offside for Madrid.
26' Ozil diving. right infront of the ref. so clever..... really....
27' Messi with the ball, gets grabbed by the neck by Ramos right in front of the linesman. NOTHING GIVEN.
28' Dani Alves taken down by Pepe. Pepe chucks the ball in frustration.
29' Xavi takes a shot from about 40 yards out. it goes wide. we'll get there...
31' grrrr messi with a ball to villa who can't control it. grrrr it was actually onside too.
32' hahahaaa Arbeloa trips behind Pedro and Pedro goes between his legs. like he's giving birth backwards. ew.
33' What a mess. everyone with high kicks and Busquets ends up on the floor. Free kick for Barca.
34' ooh dear. Madrid with a free kick and it's headed towards Valdes but he gets a hold on it.
34' Marcelo...diving? GR stop doing replays i want to see the kick. oh it's straight to the wall.
35' Villa tries for a shot but it's completely cut out.
36' Oh di Maria. WHAT A DIVE. it's given though. come on Barca. defend! Cristiano taking it. he's gonna take a shot. Mascherano talking to Alonso. Liverpool :')
37' Straight into the wall but madrid have it again. Barca asking for a card, a bit of a mess here. Pedro goes down and he was no where near the ball... Ramos was the first one to shout at Pique. Pedro looks like he's just run into Arbeloa. Arbeloa is booked. but he isn't on the list of possible suspensions for next week.
41' Marcelo sitting on the ball... his arm touches it but it's behind his body so the linesman can't see. Villa still takes the ball off him. Deflected shot for a corner. Madrid get hold of the ball.
42' Messi and Villa trying to break through the defense again. it's no use.
43' Sergio Ramos being gaster than Messi. what?
44' Dani Alves booked.... for pushing Di Maria. Busquets going to ground for with a dive. Free kick. 20 yards out ish.
45' Cristiano going for a shot. blocked off by Barca's two man wall.
46' Jesus, Ronaldo with a shot, another shot from Ozil who is offside, plus finally a one from Ramos who is way off.
46' Pedro's shot into Iker Casillas' safe hands.

right before they cut to commercials there was a bit of fighting. someone grabbed pinto by the neck. LOL Pinto got red carded! well it would be less of a LOL moment if Valdes can't play next week and we have no keeper. but it is LOL because he is not even on.
Adebayor is on. bollocks. oh wait. for ozil. alright.

45' Messi goes for a shot but it gets blocked by Madrid's wall of defense. Barca get on the end of it but it goes nowhere.
47' Xabi alonso going for one of his ridiculous shots from his own half. no xabi. that was liverpool. ahhh good times. :')
59' what the fuck. ronadlo getting 3 shots being blocked 3 times by Puyol who can't clear it. come on!
51' god pepe. pushing on dani alves in a late challenge. and tehn gets annoyed and kicks the ball away.
52' Keita is down. messi takes the free kick. messi is taken down by sergio ramos. ramos gets booked! oh he's missing the return.
53' Puyol doing a classic screaming at his teammates. Cristiano turns around to look at him like he's surprised or something.
54' Dani Alves ruled offside. I personally did not see it. what? oh, it's a free kick for a foul.... not offside.
56' Oh dear. Mascherano accidently trips pepe over. he's booked too. careful.... free kick not far away.
57' Victor Valdes lunges out to get the ball. Trips over Busquets. fail. but still has the ball!
57' Mascherano unable to clear Adebayor and Valdes has to kick it out. Madrid get a throw in but make nothing of it.
58' Villa running too fast for his own good, has to track back for the pass.
59' Pedro accused of diving and it's a free kick for Madrid. He wasn't diving, but it wasn't a foul either.
60' Ronaldo who IS diving gets ignored by the ref.
60' Dani Alves is down! OH JESUS. PEPE IS RED CARDED. oh my god. oh my god. Mourinho talking to Puyol. Alves brings his foot up and Pepe comes in with his studs striaght at alves' legs. Mourinho's face when he putss the card out. Dani Alves being carried off in a stretcher. This referee. is so strange.
63' Mourinho taking away from the sidelines! holy shit! he's put in the stands with a frence in!
Looks like Marca are gonna be ALL over this tomorrow.
63' Ronaldo diving! again! free kick given. Mourinho writing notes faster and angrier than before. Alves is on again.
65' Free kick finally taken by Xabi alonso but Ronaldo's header is a bit weak.
66' Dani Alves offside. Mourinho writing notes and giving it to his runner to give to the coaching team for Madrid.
67' Shit! Villa going for a shot, deflects off Casillas, Pedro tries to twist around for a header in but it looks like he's twisted his knee in doing so. Replay shows Marcelo stepped on him. my bad.
70' Tiki Taka in and near the area, but no one going for it.
70' Afellay! on for Pedro. Lets see what he can do tonight.
71' Cross comes in too long for Messi and Casillas hold on to it.
71' Handball by Busquets.
72' Villa taken down.
72' The ref's blown up against Barca. did not see what for.
72' Throw in for Madrid when it was really barca's.
73' God. Cristiano! keep on your feet! in all fairness there was contact with Pique.
74' 33m out. Cristiano takes it and it was really wide and really really high.
75' Adebayor's hand in Puyol's face.... just the throw in given.
75' HOLY FUCKBALLS. LIONEL MESSI! LIONEL MESSI GOAL! AFELLAY COMES IN WITH A GREAT CROSS IN AND MESSI JUST LEAPS INTO IT! OH WOW. WITH 15 MINUTES TO GO! MADRID WITH 10 MEN! MOURINHO IN THE STANDS! WOW.
77' Madrid on the attack. Keita down.... Xabi down but gets back up.... what a messi. Cleared by Pique.
79' Puyol chasing to clear Di Maria's ball and runs into the corner. In his attempts to balance himself he's pulled out the corner flag!
80' Messi pushing Arbeloa in an arial challenge! he's smart and doesn't argue, just nods, and gives the ref a thumbs up to let him know that he knows he's cautioned. no card :)
81' A mess at the area. Messi goes down with a challenge from Lass, and tries to get on his feet but handballs, and then Sergio Ramos' arse ends up on his back.
82' Adebayor booked for a challenge on Sergio Busquets.
83' 71% posession for barca with over 400 passes.
84' Mascherano trying to get the ball up field but instead smacks the ball into Xabi Alonso, who goes down, but striaght back up again. He almost never makes a fuss.
86' LIONEL MESSI OHHHHHH! GOAL! 2 - 0! always runs to Milito first. Solo run for Messi, through 5 defenders, sweeps the ball into the corner of the net before going down. wow.
88' Messi taken down by xabi and gets a free kick. iker is angryyyyy.
89' David Villa for Sergi Roberto! with 1 minute of normal time left pep is looking for more defense rather than attack. comes on, makes a clearence. nice.
91' 3 minutes of added time.
92' Messi goes for another but is cut off by Xabi.
FULL TIME
2 - 0 away win! NICEEEE
thank you barca. you have given us hope again.
mourinho doesn't stay to shake hands with pep. obviously.
so Pepe and Ramos out for the next tie.
alright. Calvaho is back though.
apparently Xabi went to "speak" to the ref after the game, and almost got red carded. LOL.

EL CLASICO!!!!!

okay so my annoying friend ruined the game for me.
but it's the BIGGEST GAME OMG!
either way, ruined or not i heard it was the best clasico in a while and am SO excited to watch it.
KICK OFF!
14s in and ronaldo has already dived!
a few oppertunities with the ball in the area but no real attempt yet.
Hand ball from Pedro.
The camp nou is in chants: "boti boti boti madridista qui no boti" consequently my favourite chant from us.
Valdes witha good save blocking a cross from ronaldo.
He is taken down by pique who has run into his head.
Pinto warming up in case anything happens to Valdes.
oh my god WHAT! messi with an amazing run. people are argueing that it went out.
The corner is taken and messi's shot hits the post!
Madrid has some really annoying defence tatics. they just keep kicking it out of play.
Ronaldo with some crazy as skill on the ball. he looks like a puppet or something. could be a new dance move.
XAVI GOAL!!! OMG WHAT I DIDN"T SEE IT! REWINDING.... whoops over did it...
OMG FUCK THAT"S A BEAUTIFUL GOAL! the ball flips on from iniesta and xavi plays it past with crazy control! 10 minutes in and we're in the lead!
Di Maria going for goal! saved by victor valdes. good save!
Ozil takes the corner... he hasn't really made an impression this game until now... Ramos with a failed header...
Benzema is blocked bu Valdes and Abidal! it's out for a madrid corner.. another failed header from ramos!
I love that barca are just passing around to mind madrid up... OMG PEDRO! GOALLLLLL!
2 - 0 ! 17 minutes in! I think they just caught madrid off guard. WHAT A GREAT CROSS FROM VILLA AND GREAT FINISH FROM PEDRO. ramos and casillas were caught off guard.
Villa with one of his many offsides...
Xabi Alonso takes a free kick... ginger beard in the close up... Benzema with a failed cross.
Ramos is freaking out. He's talking to the ref, asking for a free kick.
Guardiola is shouting again... "yes we're winning 2 - 0, but i can never be satisfied!".... I love guardiola.
Barca just won 4 consecutive headers. amazing.
Ahhhh Pedro bailed on his one on one with Casillas with a chance of a shot.... i guess he got intimidated.
I hope the rain gets hard enough for us to see ronaldo's hair flop...
HAHAHHAA THEY JUST DID A SPLIT SCREEN OF THE COACHES ON THE SECOND GOAL.
dude fuck some fight is getting on...
Valdes has left his box, pique is fired up. OHHHH
ronaldo pushed guardiola on the chest. but it was disrespect. i think i would freak out if i was there... the man is looking like he's done nothing wrong. he's just smiling. Valdes is carded for taking the 50 yard run to shout at ronaldo, and ronaldo is also carded. What's strange is that pique is the one trying to calm them down, yet he's normally the one that causes trouble.
Villa is carded for pushing Khedira. Ronaldo with a free kick some 30 yards out. the barca fans are going crazy. He goes for goal! the shot is wide!
Pepe is carded for lashing across Messi's neck with his hand...
Villa is offside... the second time on my count. Xabi with am amazing pass... but the ball is cleared by puyol. Corner is blocked.
Ronaldo is blocked by Valdes. He asked for a penalty... a goal kick is given... ownage.
What a Jedi run from Messi, but the shot is wide. his hair is getting to an annoying length now.
Messi is taken down... no foul.
Di Maria and Busquest both diving... ronaldo takes a shot from distance... Easy save for Valdes.
MESSI IS ELBOWED IN THE FACE BY CARVALIO! OH WAIT NO. MESSI HAS DIVED. WHAT!. well, actually he just exaggerated a bit... he was just swept in the face... messi is booked.
...oh the commentator is so confusing....
-------HALF TIME------- 2 - 0 to Barca.... couldn't have asked for more...
It's been a violent and intresting half. What a great game so far...
i'm laughing now because the stats say barca had 61% of the posession in the first half...
The Channel switched back to the pitch to early... they're just playing a compliation of the fails and coaches' reactions... waste of advertising time...
Marcelo's cross is stopped by Valdes.
UH MESSI HOLDS ON THE THE BALL WHEN VILLA WAS COMPLETELY FREE. WHY MESSI. WHY!
Xabi alonso is booked. that's two late challenges in 2 minutes.
damn, xavi was challenged by khedira... could've been a second goal for him. it was close...
It seems madrid has stepped up a bit since half time... finally finding their usual form...
VILLA GOAL No. 3!!!! what a goal! messi in assist! Alonso is so annoyed! i love alonso, and as much as i hate to see him frustrated i am delighted that Villa has scored his first clasico goal!
OMG FUCKING GOD VILLA SCORES AGAIN! 4 - 0 WHAT IS THIS AMAZING NIGHT! VILLA!!!!!!! That was about 2 minutes after his first! AMAZINGG! and his play against his spanish captain was such an amazing one... can't believe i ever doubted this man...
the commentator is saying that "if ronaldo had any fans before this game, the might have lost them all... " do they exist? catalan ronaldo fans? such a creature is hard to imagine.
OHO almost a goal from behind the half way line. sergio busquets' shot just over the crossbar. not a bad effort considering the distance.
Messi with a few other Jedi runs.
Carvalio is booked for deliberate handball.
i'm still waiting for the violence that i was told of.
Villa is taken down by serigo ramos! Ramos is booked. he just kicks him in the back of the knee!
Khedira is booked for a late challenge! HAHA Real Madrid have 9 yellow cards!
Villa is off for Bojan! what a great night Villa has had...
Bojan's first touch is at crazy speed but he lose his balance and his second shot is straight at casillas!
HAHA Ronaldo trying to call for a corner when it's actually a goal kick... the fans are all giving him the finger! I love this! Spanish football at its best.
Casillas looks like he's about to cry. I feel sorry for him, he's such an amazing keeper and it's not his fault.
Pedro is brought down. for some strange reason xavi is doing the medical on him. where is the physio team... fail...
Puyol is injured... something up with his ankle.
Keita is on for Xavi. Pedro for Jeffern. Oh i don't like Jeffern.
HAHA as soon as ronaldo gets near the stands all the boos roar up. amazing.
Jeffern GOAL! 5 - 0 from a cross from Bojan! doesn't change my views about him. But it was STILL an amazing goal.
alright a fight is comming up. ramos red carded for a foul on messi. omg it finally happend. was waiting all game for this. Casillas the captain tries to settle things. Messi is injured. Let's lookn at the replay. He first kicks Leo Messi, then pushes Puyol in the face, that Xavi comes down from the stands and he ramos pushes him as well. what a riot. that's what i was waiting for. Casillas is shouting at Pique. It's hard to believe they're a team in the national team. they seem to HATE each other! i'm sure it all stays on the pitch though. I can't wait to see what the real madrid website has to say about this. they normally have some cocky slogan after each game.
What a great game and amazing night it has been. and as they walk off the pitch it becomes apparent that messi is incredibly short. Shame he didn't score tonight. He's had a great game. Hope the injury isn't long lasting.

Gah, amazing victory. Barca is also at the top of the league now. what a game! and what a riot it was as well. AND WHAT A MIDDLE FINGER THIS HAS BEEN TO REAL MADRID. YEAH. IN YOUR FACE.
Well, that's it for now. It's been amazing football all the way.